The Sun and the Moon
by Ephemeral Blossoms
Summary: AU. You were always the sun and I the moon. Songfic. SasuNaruSasu. Character death.


A/N: This one shot actually came to me in a mix of inspiration from a song (which is why this is a song fic), another fic, and a few dreams. It kinda tore a bit at my heart and consciousness to write this, so enjoy it. The song is called Michiyuki by Kaori Hikida and was the ending theme for the anime, _Loveless. _I used the English translation. Note that Japanese high schools only have three years to them, not four. So six years will refer to first year, four to third year…I apologize if the formatting is weird; I've been having problems with this document and uploading it properly.

Summary: You were always the sun and I the moon. Songfic to Michiyuki by Kaori Hikida. SasuNaru / NaruSasu AU. Sasuke POV. Oneshot.

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Michiyuki' by Kaori Hikida, Naruto, Weekly Shonen Jump, iPods, or anything but the plot.

**_The Sun and the Moon_**

No matter how impossible it seems, time passes by. With each tick of my watch's hand, I can feel my heart chip at the edges a bit more, my spirit slowly leaving my body. It was never supposed to be this way.

You were always the sun and I the moon.

_Even if you embrace me until it's suffocating_

_We will never become one._

On the other side of this glass there is no sun or moon shining above. Only dark clouds remain in the sky, foreboding and threatening a rainstorm. I sit here on this bus, only wishing I could go back to the way things used to be. The times we used to smile, argue, laugh, kiss…

Back to the times I could be with you.

The train is faster to travel by, but it makes me exhausted and sick to use it. The bumps and unsmooth ride make me dizzy and light headed. Even the bus tires me out, but I have to get there. I have to get there before it's too late. I can see my reflection in the window. My pained dark eyes stare back at me and I wonder if that person is really me. My ivory skin is screaming to be a healthy color again and my raven hair is crying to shine again. That me in the window knows that my body is wracked in pain, telling me to go back home to die in some comfort. My bones stick out, predicting the skeleton I will soon become. Even though the mirror image knows all this, I'm too stubborn to listen. I have to go back there because I know I'll never have another chance. Even if I promised myself to never see you again, I want to go back to that place. I want to remember your smile no matter how much it hurts.

_In a place deeper than gentleness_

_Touching each other is merely pain._

You were always like the sun. Some people were prejudiced against you for who you were, never understanding just how important you were and continue to be. You never gave up. You still came out and shined everyday. People began to be drawn to you. People wanted to, no, _needed_ all the warmth you radiated. You were loved by all for being so joyful and warm and I don't doubt that you still are. Just like the sun, you were both glowing with orange and yellow, happiness and not a trace of despair. I look around the bus. It has a moderate amount of people on it, but not a single person is sitting next to me. I made sure of that every time someone attempted to sit here. I wonder why. Maybe it's because I'm not ready for someone to replace you. And I never will be. A couple is sitting in front of me, probably each seventeen at the oldest. Do you remember when we were seventeen? It was the time of our lives. We were young enough to fool around, but old enough to understand how much we meant to each other. We both knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We were happy and healthy, so carefree.

But that was before I learned the truth.

_Please bind the two of us._

_We will dream no more._

I've always been like the moon. The pale beautiful moon that lies in the solitude of darkness. People always loved me for the way I looked, white against blue and black. Yet, nobody ever knew the real me. Only you did. The sunlight allows people to see the moon and you always exposed me for who I really was. I needed you. Just like how people are amazed when they see the sun and the moon at the same time in the early morning sky, people always wondered how we could stand to be together. We were polar opposites. But like the moon, they always looked at me in shock for being with you instead of the other way around. They gave me more attention, more than I deserved. I look at my watch to see that another hour has passed. It means I've lived another hour, but it also means that my time is running out and I'm closer to my death. I can already feel my life slipping away from my grasp. But can I really call it my life? I had no control over it, so it was never really mine. It's the same with that beautiful toothy smile of yours. The way your eyes crinkled up when you flashed that grin. It's been so long since I've last seen it in person; can I still truly call it mine?

_Joining hands in uncertainty,_

_Walking towards the cruel dawn._

The bus halts at my stop. I zip my oversized black hooded sweater up and pull the hood over my eyes. Carefully, I stand up and take a step forward. Nothing. I take another step and brace myself. Nothing. I try as nonchalantly as possible to walk into the aisle and to the doors. Besides from being a little weak (as usual), it's fine. I sigh and start going down the steps to my destination.

But then it hits. I suddenly feel exhausted, _too _exhausted and my knees buckle beneath me. I crash onto the hard concrete and shut my eyes closed. It hurts. _A lot. _Pain is singing through my body and it _sucks_.

"Are you okay?" someone behind me asks.

It takes all of the little strength I have left, but I manage to pull myself off the ground. My thick sweater probably softened the blow enough to prevent bleeding, but it's bruising insanely by now. Without turning around to reply, I start walking towards my destination.

The sky is dark and it's starting to sprinkle rain. In front of me is my old high school, Konoha Gakuen. How nostalgic. It makes me want to run inside and sit in my old classroom, the classroom we met in. But I can't. There's not enough time…

_True words are surely somewhere in the true world._

I walk cautiously past the high school and see the familiar field in front of me, the field with the canal and the cherry blossom tree at the end of it. It brings a smile to my face. How I wish I could run through the grass and sit under the tree, but there are so many limitations to my dying existence. I stroll as coolly as I can through the damp grass and sit under the tree, gazing at the canal. A cherry blossom petal flutters down and rests in my lap. The cherry blossom tree, the most beautiful of them all, yet the one to die the quickest. I turn my iPod on in my large sweater pockets and put the ear buds in. Closing my eyes, I sit back and relax. Just relax… Remember back then? This is where we first spoke six years ago. It was on a night just like this around this time of year.

**"Sasuke?"****I look up from my notebook to see that blond guy from my class in front of me. What the hell's he doing here? This is the spot I found so I could be by myself in peace and solitude. A place where I can be in solitude and not feel guilt gnawing at me. **

**"What the hell? Go away, dead-last."**

**"What? You don't even know me, so don't say that!"**

**"You got the lowest score on the entrance exams. You're a loser. Go away."**

**He grumbles and sits down beside me underneath the cherry blossom tree. It's raining lightly, but it's beautiful in a way.**

**He asks, "What're you writing?"**

**"None of your business." Why is this guy talking to me? To be my friend? I don't care if the girls are all over me, I don't have or want any friends. Not now, and not ever.****I can see him look over my at my notebook, trying to catch what I'm writing. The nerve of this bastard! I close the notebook shut and hide it in my oversized black sweater.**

**"Why, why?" he whines.**

**"Because it's private," I hiss.**

**"What're you listening to?" the blond guy asks suddenly, pointing to the ear buds. I don't even remember his name and he's speaking to me as if we're friends!**

**"It doesn't matter."****He pulls the left ear bud out of my ear and puts it in his. What is with this guy? He's loud and annoying and I'm starting to hate him.**

**"What's with this loud emo stuff? It's annoying," he pouts. Hell, those words are what I use to describe you minus the emo, bastard.**

**"It's not emo," I shove him lightly, "The lyrics have meaning."****"**

**Oh, the song's changing. What is it? More emo stuff?"**

**_Meeting each other in order to know loneliness,_**

**_We won't know until we exchange a kiss._**

**"Oh," he says more quietly, "This song isn't that shouting stuff. It's actually…deep."**

**"What, do you want to kiss me?" I scoff.**

**He doesn't answer.**

**I turn to stare at him. His mischievous sapphire eyes are honest and somewhat hurt at the same time.**

**I sigh, "You're lonely, aren't you?"**

**I see him look up in surprise and nod carefully, "I've never had any parents…And people hate me for some reason. They treat me like I'm some sort of animal."**

**"I see," I reply.**

**"You're hurt too, right? You know I'm lonely because you are too."**

**"It's not important!" I yell,"Just because you're alone doesn't mean that I am…" I trail off, knowing that it's all a lie.**

**"We're the same, aren't we?" he starts to sound as if he's crying, "Aren't we?!"**

**Damn, this guy is just too annoying and persistent! If I tell him, will he leave me alone!?**

**"Fine, you want to know!? All these people in the damn school love me but know nothing about me! They just pretend to give a damn to say that they're my friends! And you know what? My brother killed off my entire family! Try to live after losing something that important when you never had a bond like that!"**

**"Ahh, that is…" he trails off, "Terrible. We know the same loneliness. But maybe we can overcome it together because we know it! I knew from the moment I saw you that you were hurting. But we can heal together, can't we!?"**

**I gaze at his face. He seems too innocent and pure, yet has a deep understanding of other people. He probably just wants to be loved and he doesn't care by who.**

**"The water is nice tonight," he grins toothily. He actually has a nice smile. Very bright, almost too bright for me to look at.**

**"Yeah."**

**"You know, you're really quiet at school," he says, almost in a scolding way, "You should talk to people more! I'll introduce you to my friends tomorrow, okay?"**

**"…What's your name?"**

**His eyes widen, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME!? IT'S –"**

_Even so, I am trembling with the joy of having met you. __Please support my heart._

We talked the rest of that night until we fell asleep together underneath this tree. It was actually sweet. I wonder what my life would be sometimes if I had never met him. I guess it'd be a lot lonelier. I'd probably already by dead because I wouldn't have had a reason to live.

I take my notebook out of my pocket and straighten it out. It's still the same one from all those years ago, but it's one of those with 300 pieces of paper which is why it's lasted so long. I haven't written in it as much in the past four years; I've been too weak, sometimes too weak to hold a pen. Like right now. The bus ride and the walk have taken everything out of me, especially with the fall at the stop. I only had enough left to take the notebook out, but I need to finish what I started. Maybe if I rest a little bit, I'll be able to write. On the contrary, maybe if I rest a little bit, death will come knocking.

"SASUKE!?" someone screams.

I know I'm surprised, but my body is too drained to react. Who is that? His voice is familiar, but it's so far away…

"Oh, you're not Sasuke," I can hear the person smiling yet almost crying at the same time. He sits next to me, "You're too small to be Sasuke, but you're kinda doing the same thing he used to do when we went to school here. Big sweater with the hood on, a bit oversized jeans, listening to your iPod and writing underneath this tree…He always wore stuff like that after school because he got cold easily. But…Sasuke left me four years ago."

No. No. Nonononononono…It's not him. It's not him. It CAN'T be him. After I stayed away for so many years only to see him now? I failed at the last minute. I can't even kill my brother, but I gave up on that the moment I was diagnosed.

Damn.

"We used to talk here a lot of the time. We first met here…We first kissed here too. How time passes, right? So, who are you anyway? Do you go to this school? Sasuke and I used to, or did I say that already?..."

I can't look at him. No, I can't look at him because it's not him. It's not the person that always bought an extra issue of Weekly Shonen Jump for me. It's not the person who always went with me to the family tombstone everyday. It's not the person who I lived with at the age of sixteen (his house and finances were managed by the mayor for one reason or another). It's not the person who fixed me when I was broken. It's not my old…boy- lover. I don't like the other word; it makes me feel weird.

"He was my boy- no, he never wanted me to use the word boyfriend. He was my lover, but we never did…you know. He never told me that he loved me either. I know he did love me, but I wish he had said it at least once. Anyway, so, what's up? Hey, can I listen to your iPod?"

I don't reply, so he takes the bud from my ear and puts it in his just like he did six years ago, the year we first met. When he hears the song that is playing, I can see out of the corner of my eye his mouth drop and his eyes water.

**"Sasuke!" he calls as he runs to sit beside me. Fortunately, he loses his footing falls right on me, his lips landing right over mine.**

**I never thought my first kiss would be like this. An accident. But it's so innocent, so sweet…His warm lips are pressing against mine and I can't help but close my eyes and kiss back. He holds me and I hold him. We're merging together…**

**He pulls away and grins sheepishly, "I'm not sorry for tripping! I pulled away just because I needed to breathe!"**

**It was so…nice. Something I haven't felt since I was eight.**

**I smirk, "We're doing that again."**

_We will dream no more,_

_We can't run to a warm place._

_We will surely overcome the cruel dawn._

"This…this was our song. I…"

No, don't say it, if you say it, I'll never be able to go back and forget this, I won't be able to resist myself, don't say itdon'tsayitdon'tsayitdon'tsayitdon'tsa-

"I miss him!!" he chokes. With that, my heart tears in half, shattering as it lands on the floor. I turn my head around with sudden urgency and it makes my head spin.

Obsidian meets cerulean.

"Sa…su…ke?" I'm so drained, but adrenaline has given me just a little more energy.

"Naruto."

He freezes. His glassy eyes are overcome with varying emotion, from happiness, to anger, to sorrow.

"Where the hell have you been!?" Naruto yells in his white shirt and khaki shorts, tearing the ear bud from his ear, "You left me without even telling me why! You just picked up and left the day after prom! You took everything that reminded me of you from our place! HOW THE HELL COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!? HOW!?" He grabs me from the sweater sleeves with such strength that he literally lifts me from the ground.

Naruto gasps, "You're so light! I didn't grow after high school and you were always taller than me! Even though you were thinner and less muscular, it's not like I could pick you up!"

"Unzip it," my eyes dart to my sweater.

Without questioning why, he sets me down and unzips to see me in a light shirtless. Black and blue bruises cover my body, especially on my right side where I fell earlier. They run up and down my white skin, infecting me, killing me. Those ugly purple spots are like a symbol of what's to come; my death.

"There are more below, but don't. It's freezing."

He stares at me, "What's wrong with you? Why did you leave? Is someone hurting you? I swear, I'll go and beat them up!!"

I smirk. He doesn't look too much older. The same blue eyes, sun kissed skin…

And he's still too stupid to realize.

I still remember the day I was diagnosed with this four years ago. It was the day of our graduation and prom, the day that was supposed to be perfect. Two hours before the ceremony, I got a call from the doctor's office saying it was an emergency and to be there as soon as possible. I had gone in for blood work and a checkup a week beforehand because I had felt different. I had bruises that wouldn't go away and I was getting frequent nosebleeds. I knew what was coming. So, I went to the office and was admitted immediately. I still remember the scratchy chair in Shizune-sensei's office.

**"I'm afraid I need to ask you to calm yourself down," Shizune-sensei tells me as I sit, "This is bad news, but we may be able to manage it. I'll refer you to Tsunade-sensei, the best doctor in the country, possibly the world."**

**"What is it?" I ask.**

**"Your blood test showed us that you have acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I can't say that it was caught very early, but there are six chances out of ten that we can get rid of it and it won't come back. You'll have to go to Konoha Hospital for this, but it isn't too far from here. Could we discuss treatment options for this now?"**

** I shake my head, "I have somewhere to be. I'll come back tomorrow." **

**And with that I leave her office without another word, without waiting for her to reply. It's strange; the world stays the same no matter what happens to you. It keeps on spinning. Children keep laughing. Babies are still being born. Yet here I am, dying and nobody knows that my life has been changed. Amazing, right?**

** I have a little less than two hours to do this. Naruto and I have lived together now for a year. He said he'd meet me at the ceremony because he had something to do beforehand. He really wanted us to walk in together and was apologetic, but I told him that it was fine. We'd walk in together at the prom. Now I have leukemia. I'm not really surprised, but its different when you know you have it instead of thinking you have it. I was supposed to go to Konoha University, but that's not happening now. I always wanted to be a psychologist, to heal people. To heal people like Naruto and I healed each other. **

**I guess I won't live to kill Itachi. **

**I can't tell Naruto. I can't have him stop going to school in order to work and take care of me, to cry whenever he sees me because although he denies it, I'm going to die. I can't do this to him. I never want to have to see him cry. It'll hurt more than the cancer and the treatment itself. I have two hours. If I can pack all the little things now and save the larger things for overnight (Naruto sleeps like a log), I can leave this place. I'll take all my things and every picture with me in it and make it seem like I was never here. I'll delete the pictures from the computer, I'll get rid of the pictures on his camera. Then he can move on without me. I'll buy a small apartment at the other end of town. I can pay for everything with the fortune my parents left me (we were rich). **

**I can live without you. **

_The abandoned quietness will surely find the true words in order to lovingly hurt each other._

_Someday surely._

"Nobody's hurting me," I state.

"Then why the hell did you leave me?" tears are pouring down like a waterfall now.

DAMMIT. The point of me leaving him was to not have to see him cry like this, to not make him cry at all. I guess everything I've ever done has been rendered meaningless.

"The reason for not telling you is pointless now," I attempt to stare him down, but I'm too weak to really do a good job of that, "But I still can't tell you. I'm trying to protect you! Thank me for that."

Naruto's voice is quavering harder now, "But Sasuke. Don't you get it? I'd rather have you tell me so we can face it together rather than think of you going it alone. That hurts so much! We both know what it's like to live in a world where there's nobody to say 'I love you' to. But we found it again within each other! Then you left…Sasuke, just tell me and we'll spend the rest of our lives together!"

Crap. I really screwed up.

"You dimwit," I try to smirk like my old self, "There's no time left to spend together."

"What the hell do you mean?" his eyes widen, "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN FOR FOUR YEARS!?"

"Dying."

"Wha-?" Naruto pauses, shock filling his body. Maybe I was too abrupt, but I never wanted to tell him this! I have no choice now.

"I'll tell you. I have leukemia and there's nothing they can do anymore. I'm dying."

I can swear that I can hear his heart break, demolish itself, just like mine, but Naruto, your heart can't break. It just can't. If you're alone since I can't be there, who will be left to pick up the pieces?

"So that's why you left?" he asks tiredly, pain lingering in his wavering voice, "Because you have leukemia?"

"I couldn't bear to think of you see me go through that. I never wanted to see you cry, especially over me. I didn't want you to see me die. Too late for that. I'm supposed to die any day now, give or take."

**"What's wrong, Sasuke? You've been off ever since the graduation ceremony! We're going to the same university you know. We live together, so cheer up! We have each other!"**

** I stare into those deep sapphire eyes. Those are the eyes of someone I love. Eyes I can't bear to see cry. **

**"Ladies and gentlemen, this will be the last song of the evening!" **

**Some song I don't like starts playing, but it doesn't matter, "Naruto, nothing's wrong. Let's dance."**

** I pull Naruto into my arms and then slowly just move back and forth. Neither of us are real dancers anyway. **

**"I know something's wrong. Just tell me." The blond leans into me, making me feel warm in my black suit. **

**A small piece of my heart chips and cracks, "Tomorrow, Naruto. Tomorrow you'll know."**

Naruto collapses onto my shoulder sobbing, "Sa…Sasuke! Sasuke, I would have been happier to have four years with you to spend together rather than just today! Even if you were dying, even if we couldn't do many things together, we'd still be together! I looked everywhere for you! I knocked on every door of every house, called the police station, called the hospital, I even went to the next town over! You never came to the university and I dropped out! There was nothing left in the apartment and it was hard for me to realize if you even existed! I knew you did, but I didn't know what to do…Sasuke, I died the day you left! I wish you'd just tell me that you love me!"

What's left of me cracks and I can feel tears slipping down my face along with the tears of the sky. I failed. I screwed up _bad._

**I open my eyes to see the familiar white of the ceiling looming at me. Again, I have woken up in the hospital. Still alive, but in agony.**

**I sit up and look down at my pillow. The last tuft of my charcoal hair remains there. With a sigh, I can see my reflection on the metal cart. I'm hideous. My bald head shines against the silver and I can see my bones sticking out of my unhealthy looking skin. My sunken eyes look too big for my face and I feel as if I'm about to throw up.**

**There's a knock at the door and Tsunade-sensei walks in. She's an old blond woman who looks to be in her twenties, but she's the best doctor in Konoha. She runs through the treatment I'm about to go through, but none of it really matters. I mention briefly for her to up the morphine. Then she says something that makes me listen.**

**"Someone called about you by the name of Uzumaki Naruto. He says that you've gone missing and he was wondering if you were here. The receptionist said she'd call back. Since you're under special private care, what do you want us to say?"**

**Naruto, you idiot! You're supposed to live on as if I were never there, not look for me!**

**"Tell him that I don't exist," I reply coldly.**

_Even if you embrace me until it's suffocating_

_We will never become one._

I went into remission for a year about a year after that. I thought that if I was fully healed, maybe I could go back to you, but it came back and it spread far, too far. That's when they told me my time was up. I gave up on treatment and lived at my apartment, only wishing to die in peace.

But I'm hurt. I'm hurt because I hurt you. It feels like a butcher knife has stabbed and cut up the remains of my soul, hurling them into the distance. But I'm not finished yet. I take the pen out of my pocket and open my notebook. I write in the last few words and shut it softly, letting it drop from my hand. My eyes close.

"Sasuke?" Naruto cries, but he seems so far away within the mist. It's as if a cloud has rolled over and darkness is covering me like a blanket. It feels like someone's shaking me, but it's so far away...

"WAKE UP!!"

I snap my eyes open to see that I'm on the ground. The rain is pouring harder than ever and Naruto is on top of me, shaking me.

"Sasuke, don't leave me! I love you so much, don't go!"

"Naruto," the name is so foreign, yet so familiar on my tongue, "Read it…"

"We'll read it together, just hang in there!" his tears splash against my skin.

I don't want to ask, but I need to ask, "Is there an afterlife?"

"Of course!" he yells, "There is an afterlife! When you die, which is after we grow old together, you'll die and you'll be with your family! All of this will have been like a dream! You'll be a little boy again with your family, and I'll be there! We'll have all of our lives together again to spend, forever and ever!"

He's lying to make me feel better, but I appreciate the thought.

"Stupid," I smile, "You won't be there…because you'll be living here. Live on for me."

The darkness is closing in. My time is up. It's nice to die with your lover on top of you…dreamlike.

"I LOVE YOU SASUKE! DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME!"

Hmm, your life really flashes before your eyes. How interesting. It's actually more of my life with Naruto. Nice montage.

**"Let's have babies! Cute little babies with your hair and my eyes!"**

**"Let's stay together forever!"**

**"You know…we can do naughtier things…there's a telephone booth and…hee hee hee…" **

**"We'll never hide anything from each other!"**

** "You'll be the mommy and I'll be the daddy!"**

** "I don't know what I'd do without you." **

**"You're like the broth and I'm the noodles." **

**"This is the prom! Smile! You gotta dance with me!"**

**"I love you."**

"Uzumaki Naruto…Goodbye."

And then there's silence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Unstoppable tears flowed down Naruto's face. He couldn't tear himself away from the body of his lover, but Sasuke had wanted him to read the notebook. Weeping still, he pulled the notebook from beside the cold remains and flipped it open. There were a lot of words. Too many for the Uzumaki to read in one night. With a small smile and a choke, he turned to the last page and scanned through it. It was long as well, but the last paragraph caught his eyes.

**_If you are the sun and I am the moon, then we're perfect for each other. The sun and the moon are the yin and yang of life. What balances the earth and creates a cycle. Light and Dark. Day and Night. Life and Death. Black and White. One cannot live without the other. We are rivals, yet perfect soul mates. _**

**_We are two bound by our love for each other to become one._**

**_You are the sun and I the moon. _**

**_I love you._**

And tears mixed with rain stain the pages, causing the ink to run.

_Oh, cold starts before dawn,_

_Please light the snow path that's just for us._

_**Owari.**  
_

* * *

A/N: I hope some cried! XD It means I did my job. I didn't cry during this, but…anyway. I put a lot of work into it, so please review. Thank you for reading! If I get reviews requesting a sequel, I'll write it.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: A sequel is up! Check it out; it's called Black and White and can be found on my profile.


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